The Stars Above Northumberland by Anita Stansfield

Author:Anita Stansfield
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Regency;romance;LDS;secret;sorrow;abuse;family;beginning;manor;memories
Publisher: Covenant Communications, Inc.
Published: 2018-01-10T20:23:24+00:00

Chapter Eight

The Debacle

For more than a week, the drama that had been unleashed among the bruised family Angus had left behind seemed to infiltrate every crack and crevice of the house. The servants were all clearly aware that a great many private conversations were taking place. They also obviously knew that meals were being taken to separate rooms, since some of the sisters apparently didn’t even want to be in proximity with each other.

Meri and Elliott each had some private conversations with their aunt and some of their cousins; it was evident that some of them were doing better than others. While Meri and Elliott frequently discussed the concern they felt for their cousins, Meri became increasingly uneasy about her own secrets. She didn’t feel the need to tell her cousins any more than they already knew, but there was so much that Elliott didn’t know, and she knew that holding back was beginning to create tension between them. She wasn’t at all surprised when he asked her to join him in the library one rainy evening after they had put the children to bed. A part of her wanted to just openly spill her every secret, if only she could get past the wall of fear that was blocking her. She didn’t know if that was Elliott’s purpose for wanting to talk, but she both hoped and feared that it was.

Once they were alone with the door closed, Elliott guided Meri to a sofa and sat close beside her, holding her hand. “Meri,” he began, “so much has been going on, but . . . all of this drama with our cousins should not be holding you and me back from pursuing a life together. We talk all the time about sharing a future . . . as if we’ve both come to accept that it will happen. And yet when I mention anything specific . . . about becoming officially engaged . . . or just getting married . . . you’re hesitant and evasive. And I need to understand why, Meri.”

Meri looked down, knowing how unfair she’d been in that regard. He was right, even if she didn’t want to accept the reasons for it.

“I want to marry you,” Elliott said. “I don’t understand why we both have to be alone at night when we spend our days almost as if we were already married.”

As always, Elliott’s insistence on moving forward with their relationship left her terrified. But he was right, and he deserved some kind of explanation. Meri just forced herself to put a voice to words she knew she needed to say. “There is so much you don’t know, Elliott; so much that happened. There are things I don’t want to talk about; things I don’t know if I can ever talk about. And yet . . . I don’t believe that secrets should exist in a marriage—not if it has any hope of being a good marriage.” Feeling suddenly exposed and vulnerable, Meri turned the attention away from herself.

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